Twenty years ago, Titi’s mum had been buried in the same cemetery.
Titilayo, until her death, was an employee of Skye Bank, Marina, Lagos. Her corpse was discovered a day after she was murdered on her husband’s 30th birthday at their Isolo, Lagos, home
The officiating priest, Pastor Charles Ayo Binitie, the deceased’s family pastor, and a close friend to Titilayo’s father, had many people sobbing and dabbing at their eyes with handkerchieves as he spoke during the service.
Binitie said he was saddened by the fact that he presided over the funeral ceremonies of both the deceased and her late mother, Mrs. Helen Folake Oyakhire, who passed on 20 years ago.
The cleric wondered why fate was so cruel to Titilayo and her surviving daughter, Olamide, who were both denied their mother’s care in their childhood. Recalling that Titi was just nine when her own mother died, he said he was very sad when he was called upon again by his friend 20 years later, to perform the same burial rites for the slain banker.
Pastor Binitie of House of Reconciliation Ministry said watching the deceased grow from a child into a woman until she was snatched away by a violent death was traumatic. He informed Daily Sun that he actually collected the deceased’s dowry on her father’s behalf. “I have watched her grow and it is unfortunate that I had to organise her burial like I did for her mum 20 years ago,” he lamented.
The man of God said the only product of the union, Olamide Arowolo, was living more with her maternal grandfather and her mother’s family before her mum’s death. “She is very much at home there. She has been enrolled in a school and she doesn’t even know what is going on but she has been asking for her mum,” he said.
He also spoke on the relationship between the deceased’s family and the family of the accused.
“The family of the accused has made reconciliatory moves but the matter is still in court because there is a case to answer with the state government. It is a homicide case that has been established due to the autopsy results. The accused claimed the deceased stabbed him and killed herself but the result of the pathological test proved otherwise. The stab wounds on her head alone cannot be inflicted by the deceased herself and the accused was the last person to see her alive. The death certificate made available to the family revealed that she was stabbed repeatedly until she gave up the ghost.”
He also revealed that Akolade’s mother has made moves to apologise to the Oyakhires. “She has called upon the church to help plead on behalf of her family. She asked for reconciliation but it was made clear to her that the Oyakhires do not hate the Arowolos. The deceased’s family is just demanding that justice be done and the case is not abandoned. The Oyakhires love them as Christians but we are not ready for them to take the only child of that marriage. The child is safe and well taken care of by her maternal family. We are not even ready to consider it let alone discuss it because it is not possible.
“Up till this moment, the Lagos State Government has been co-operating with the Director for Public Prosecution (DPP), and the press has done a good job publicising this case and justice is taking its course. The police are still keeping behind some information but I know that we are working on that to make sure nothing is hidden from the public regarding Titi’s murder. It is possible that the accused family members are here today but I can’t really say this person is a member of his family. It was published in some national dailies that the deceased would be buried on Wednesday and they did not indicate interest that they would attend the burial, neither were they identified in church as present during the burial.
“I am happy at the way the Nigerian press took this case. They made so much noise about it that if anyone were passing through domestic violence, she would know what to do and how to go about it. It has gotten to the level where we as pastors should advise any woman being abused constantly by her husband to leave him for some time because it is better for a woman to live as a single woman than to die as a married woman. If it was possible for us to have told the deceased to leave her husband for some time until he changed, it would have been better than burying her at 29.”
Binitie also gave a brief insight into the person of the deceased.
“She was a gentle girl, who lost her mum at nine and became a mum to her siblings and a wife to her father. Her father remarried 10 years after he lost her mum and Titilayo was the one who encouraged the dad to get married again. She was instrumental to the upbringing of her siblings and took care of her family members. She was a loving person, who was brought up in the way of the Lord. It is unfortunate that in marriage, she made a mistake that claimed her life. It’s so sad.”
Also speaking, Rev. Sylvester Aigbirion, who runs Christ Passion for Souls Ministry, said violence in all forms would reduce if people had a strong relationship with God. “Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God,” he asserted. “Anyone who professes to know God would not have been able to kill someone else in cold blood. If someone has a relationship with God truly, he won’t be able to harm his neighbour not to talk of his own flesh and the mother of his kid.”
Aigbirion, whose ministry trains pastors, evangelists and others, teaching God’s word, among other duties further noted: “We are praying that justice will be done in this case but you cannot predict what man will try to do to cover the truth. The Bible says that the heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. They can try to turn it around and hide the truth. If anyone tries that, God’s justice is greater than that of any man. You can escape the law but you cannot escape God’s judgement. He is a fair judge. We have seen it happen. People escape the law but before they die, they cannot escape God’s judgement. We hope that justice will be done in this case.”
The late Titi’s immediate younger sister, Aidehi Oyakhire, said though Titi had been buried, the family was still enveloped in sorrow.
Her words: “We had good memories together and that is what has been keeping me sane. The last time we saw, we were planning how we would mark her 30th birthday on April 9, next year. I didn’t know she would leave so soon. When the hymns were being sung at the graveside, a lot of things came to my mind. She was a caring mother who called us every day to speak to her daughter because she (the daughter) stays with us. Everyone that went to her place to take care of the baby while she went to work had problems with her husband so, we decided to take the little girl, Olamide, to stay with us,” she said.
Aidehi said the family was aware that she was in danger while living with her husband because of the extent of the abuse she suffered in his hands but she said no one expected what eventually happened. “We were aware that he was violent towards her but she kept telling us she was hoping for the better. We are surprised that our sister was killed on our younger sister’s birthday because the accused shares the same birthday with one of our sisters.”
The lady regretted that the police had not been too open to the family in their investigations. She said it was unfortunate that the family was not told when the pathologist’s result was released. She, nonetheless, expressed hope that justice would be done so that Titilayo would not have died in vain.
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