CHILDREN’S DAY MAKEOVER

CHILDREN, OUR PRIDE, OUR FUTURE!

Uche @ 5, adorned in a Nigerian outfit.

May 27th is a day set aside to celebrate our children. Children's Day Celebration provides an opportunity for reflection on the conditions of Nigerian children. The story hasn't quite changed so much from one of lamentation. The plight of the Nigerian Child is undesirable, and ultimately the non implementation of the Child Rights Act and the benefits therein. 
Children's Day in Nigeria is seemingly reserved as public holiday for children, and some children engage in lively activities which are considered as part of the characteristics of the day. A number of children go to various stadia to actively participate in parades and marches and listen to speeches of various leaders. In some cases, there are varieties of parties to choose from, with lots of food, drinks, merriments, dancing as well as games, as the case may be. 

I remember our childhood days, children's day afforded us the opportunity to engage in match past and traditional dances at our various stadia, we always looked forward to May 27th every year as well as October 1st our independent day celebration; this is hardly the case any more. In todays Nigeria the children are left for the parents to decide what level of fun activity to engage their kids with, therefore while the celebration bring laughter and joy to a section of people it brings tears and dismay to another section. Who are these people- Children of the affluent and the not so affluent! 

The rich folks can afford a roller coaster ride and a merry go round for their children. They will say, “let’s take a trip to the Bahamas, its Children’s Day!” They are those who feel delighted watching their children ride on a luxury horse with a candy stocked in mouth and a handy toy all at hand. A rich man will say “come on, throw away your Phone and have this Blackberry Touch”. Only a well-to-do man will do all of these.

On the contrary children from the other side of the divide may not even have the luxury of fun watching the various celebration on television but will hear words like stop watching TV and go help your mom in the kitchen on a children’s day! because the child is likely to watch other children on TV stations who are enjoying themselves by reason of the season. The child from this other divide will have to hawk bread on the street to gather money for fees, their parents will tell this children how ‘big men’ do all manner of terrible things to get money. He is full of sorrow, pain, anguish and confusion. He is not a happy man.

Some Nigerian children in the game of Punch Balls

These two kinds of people are easily seen in our communities today. Sometimes there are alterations or changes in the degree of wealth and the degree of poverty. But the case remains, there are two variables of sharp conflicting terms. You are either up or down. Perhaps, in the middle, the truth remains that there is a difference. Now, because of the social barrier and economic demarcation so many of the well-to-do clique separate themselves entirely from those less privileged because we think that they are of less class. However, it is very important to note here that the Children’s Day celebration is not a thing of sect. It is supposed to be an emancipation and networking of children of varying diversities, from bottom to top. The Children’s Day celebration should take a reflexive notion in that people who are self-sufficient should think about those that are not able to measure up. In other words, the haves and have nots are to be seen doing things together, sharing and celebrating love for themselves irrespective of all differences. Children’s day is supposed to be a day marked with a lot of activities for children. But the fact remains that only a section of the country’s children actually have an opportunity to celebrate their existence. Schools organize events and activities that their students thoroughly enjoy, but there is an entire populace of young ones that are left behind on this special day – the downtrodden street children. On this notion, we add, Instead of celebrating it with pomposity in schools and clubs and fun centers, why not bring a smile into the lives of children who are less privileged. While celebrating being a child, the fortunate ones should be reminded about their good fortune to have all that they are endowed with, while there are others who can barely feed or clothe themselves. Thus, while this day was instituted to provide children with basic Rights, maybe we can make a difference to a child’s life by doing something special. Parties and celebrations happen all the time, but how about taking the unfortunate children, the homes that shelter street children and have them befriend those kids, donating clothes, toys, stationery, books, etc. This will really create a lasting impression and show the true meaning of the children’s day and we believe this will go a long way in making this years children's day a remarkable one.

We urge those who are in a better economic and social positions to please, look out for those hungry kids on the street and even in ‘hidden’ places and show them some love instead of leaving them out to nurse their pain on a day they should be happy and celebrating with other children. You don’t have to give all you have or create a scene, make it simple, a little will go a long way to reassuring those children of a future for themselves. We do hope that you who is reading this will take a step towards achieving this goal.

WMN. 

ARNOLD/ MARIE MARRIAGE CRASH

Arnold and Marie

Working Moms Nigeria captures another scintillating, mind-boggling and yet disappointing story about a former movie star, ex-governor and body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger who has been caught up in messy dung just less than a year after heading out of the California Governor's Mansion.  Movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver, who hails from the John F. Kennedy bloc, a journalist,  a  writer  and former first lady of the state of California have announced a dissolution of their 25 years old marriage.

The reasons the couple separated have been narrowed to a claim that has actually been admitted by Arnold himself who had an extra-marital affair with another woman. The affair translated to a son from the woman who had been allegedly eyeing Arnold for decades. The woman in question Mildred Patricia Baena, who goes by Patty Baena was a housekeeper/assistant for the family for 20-plus years. Her jobs included cleaning, laundry, cooking and other chores for Arnold and Maria Shriver. Patty had previously told friends that they'd have unprotected sex during the day at the house, where Patty Baena sometimes stayed overnight. And all the while no one caught them in the act. Sadly enough, when she became pregnant, she didn't tell Arnold he was the father. And unfortunately too, Arnold didn't learn he was the dad until the boy was a toddler, which would have been right around his first run for governor, or possibly after.  Mildred Patricia Baena, who made $1,200 per week, was treated well by Arnold before, and especially after he found out. Sources say he was "always generous”. The affair took place over a decade ago, and Patty Baena continued to work for the family until this year when the cat was unintentionally let out of the bag. Arnold confessed to his wife of 25 years that he fathered a child with the house-help around the same time that Maria was pregnant with their youngest son, Christopher, now 13. The heartbroken Shriver moved out of the family mansion into a Beverly Hills hotel, leaving the kids with their father in Brentwood. It's unclear why he told his wife, but the revelation apparently caused her to move out of the family's mansion abruptly. Shriver who had struggled with the death of her father Sargent Robert Shriver added in a statement: “This is a painful and heartbreaking time,” Shriver said in her first public acknowledgement of the family scandal since the former Governator, her husband dodged philandering rumors and later admitted paternity of the child to the Los Angeles Times. This is not quite a huge blow somehow on many who are aware and used to the rhythms of the Hollywood marriages and the meanderings coupled in it. How bad, this is yet another Hollywood marriage collapse.

Arnold, Marie and Children

WM Critics:  A quick look into the marriage ills suffered in the case of Arnold and Marie can be attributed to a whole lot of reasons but one out of all stands insurmountably erect. This is the aspect that the Working Moms Nigeria tends to give an outlook on: A telescopic evaluation of the marriage crash of the couple can be predicated on retarded responsiveness on the side of both couple especially the woman, and gross absentness  from the key roles and functions of a woman in her family. Irrespective of the career pursuits and personal targets of a mom, she is expected to pan her eyes always on her family issues meticulously. When work and ambition drags mom  away from home, the happenings in her immediate family unit becomes alienated to her in the sense that she becomes a novice to the things she should have had cognizance and also what she could have proffered solutions or remedy to in the first place. Marie nursed so many projects and ambitions which took her way out of home and divided her attention too. She was a woman whose public name and stature mattered very much. And of course an intelligent woman from the pedigree of the former US president, Kennedy, constantly sighted in spotlight thrilling her audience as wife of a movie star as well as the California First lady.  Perhaps her place in the family was sort of fragmented and a whole lot went into the ditch in an ironic short time of 25 years. 

Domestic Staff turned Baby mama, Baena

Critically, an effective working mom who has inculcated the working ingredients of a working mom and also imbibed the realistic purpose of marriage and saving marriage will hardly get entangled in a shocker as this. Marie was detached from her husband somehow that she was utterly clueless as to knowing about her husband’s misbehavior and change in attitude. Because there must be a lead however to help one discover some ‘shady dealings’ in your home or relationship and ones you are detached or shut out from your husband either emotionally or physically, you cannot place your guess and often times cannot even sense a dead rat.
The ultimate lesson therefore is clear and usually preached on the Working Moms blog. Moms have to allocate more and more time to family. Yes, you want to achieve your career aims, yes! But, a second thought will do one a pretty much favourable good because if Marie had done lots of second thoughts, perhaps she would have known that the household keeper had got a twist in the past last decade. Its such a long time to gather traces and combine bits to make the map of an idea which Marie never had. Apparently, for a decade plus she had been insensitive enough to know that her husband has a relationships with the cook of the house. Its ridiculously shameful for that Arnold who was in a position of trust will disrespect his wife to this point!  It is a sad event to me as a wife and mother. A mom sacrifices a lot to be everything to everyone but at the end, I ask myself, what really are we doing to ourselves. Is it best to just stay and work at home or work outside home? whichever way we go, Arnold will still be Arnold!

The bottom line is: 

•         Moms Should Allocate more quality time to their families.
•         Longstanding female staffs should attend family end of year parties with their kids "inspection"  
•          Make your family No1 on your priority list. 
•          Grease your relationship with your spouse
•         Enhance inter-personal rapport with your spouse
•         Conduct clandestine investigations within  and outside the spheres of your home to find out  things yourself, do not entertain gossip
•         Don’t get carried away by fame or fortune.
•         Call yourself to order and give yourself a timeline to return back home.

All these out of a striking lot are working ingredients deplorable to keep and nurture your home and marriage. My Advice to all married spouses: If You're thinking about doing something immoral, illegal, unethical, that will come back to haunt you, your family, your job etc. later...DON'T DO IT!!!

WMNG

2 Little Souls Plucked Out- Moms Should Take Heed!

To many it was a gory story, and to a whole lot of others it is a case of intriguing puzzle. Who solves the riddle of this nerve-wrecking and gruesome story- No track, No lead, No witness, as two lonely kids were found dead in their mom’s giant deep freezer. 

A great amount of folks out there haven't heard this horrible story of how a mom locked up her 2 little kids, Harrison 7 and Favour 5, both pupils of Community Day Care/Primary School, Agbor in Delta State. Oblivious of tragedy, this mom came back to meet a shocker: bodies of her children stocked up in her deep freezer, and her room floor painted with her own children’s blood. How tragic!

A trusted source (Vanguard Newspapers) had gathered on May 9, 2011 that the victims’ mother had allegedly locked up them up in her one-bedroom apartment and went to the market only to return to find the kids stone dead in her freezer. The woman who is a single parent said she suspects a  foul play, noting that blood was found trickling from both the mouth and nose of the children.  

According to her "when I returned from the slaughter, I went straight to where I kept the key to the house but to my surprise, the key was nowhere to be found". 

State Police Public Relations Officer, PPRO, Charles Muka told Vanguard, Sunday that  the police are investigating the matter and so far no arrest has been made; the woman in question locked her  kids inside (her apartment) and took the keys away" said Charles Muka.

It is certain that  the tragedy will be engraved in the mind of this woman, her relatives and concerned Nigerians who have been savouring the bitter taste of the news since its occurrence. Yes! One will ask this probing question; why on earth would a mom leave these two little kids at home alone? A whooping amount of people have asked questions over and over again and its not far from the frames of a rhetorical inquiry. Sadly, nobody is giving a succinct detail. It is quite painful that this single mom had left her two healthy kids alone without care, supervision nor help. Perhaps, it was a routine- an everyday practice. Ironically, some person will call it fate or nemesis that has caught up with her. But again, you cannot summarily submit that it was intentional.  Even though some would rather remain silent in matters like this.  The truth is that it was very wrong of this woman or any mother for that matter to have left her kids all alone to the hands of rebouncing echoes of their own voices in the house. Apparently this kids probably would have wailed, muffled or whimpered for help in their few last minutes. How excruciating! How distressing!

It's time moms became more conscientiously involved with their family. Children and their welfare are our  primary responsibility. The manner at which we moms neglect our children in pursuit of other stuffs like ambition and career MUST be trimmed.  We should be able to balance the two. What makes you a mom is your ability to give care and love to your kids irrespective of circumstances and boundaries. It is quite unfortunate that in this part of the world and other places in Africa, moms are trying hard to juggle between making a living and catering for the family. The economic situation has contributed in making more moms delve into a whole lot of things in order to make sure that the family bread is sustained. Realistically, this is one of the reasons things like this happen. But we believe that the reason you are a moms is nothing far-fetched from taking full responsibility of your kids, being around to nurture them as well as foster maximum care and support in all they do. Understanding why your kids do what they do and how you can proffer solutions to ills emanating from juvenile delinquency, youthful exuberance and so on is a crucial criteria that makes you a mom.

A super mom is that mom that is able to balance work, family and her inter-personal relationships. Even as she does other stuffs, she still spends quality time with her family. A real mom is nothing other than an emotional cover and pavilion her children have; deprive your child that closeness and motherly care and support, then be sure to entertain a myriad of distressing happenings and occurrences like the said mom who initiated the writing of this story. Moms should not be out of sight leaving little kids in the hands of fate to decide their premature destiny. A working mom is expected to have a qualified nanny in the home to take care of kids while she is away pursuing career, business, or meeting her other needs. It is advisable to have your kids watched over by trusted neighbors, friends or relatives instead of leaving them all alone. Leaving your kids to themselves is no option at all.

Agreeably, the single event of this mother of two is believed to have left indelible marks on the minds of moms all over Nigeria. This is a clarion call to all moms to stand up to their responsibility as mothers and firsthand caretakers of the priceless gifts of children. Literarily, the case of this mom whose kids were marred has seemingly presented itself as a tearful case study. Moms out there who are wise and would not want to be blamed or weep almost forever would quickly imbibe the ‘little’ advise given here and use it as a guide. We do hope that a tragic happening of this sort does not happen again. Moms please take heed.

MOMFIDENCE- HAVE YOU ZABBED ENOUGH?

 If the latest "breakthrough" child-development theory, parenting technique, or child-appropriate diet makes you worry or groan (or just want to lie down for a nap), it's time to make way for Momfidence! A concept coined to highlight just a few powerful working ideology attributed to working moms. It is pretty important for moms to have a good dose of  'Momfidence'  especially in her quest to keep family and work at harmonious equilibrium. 

You should have to be that priceless mom who knows just almost everything to do in any giving situation; taking control over her business and career, ensuring a healthy children who have a hamonius bond with you, merging home and work into priority list but putting home in the first and second in line before another. Momfidence involves nothing more complicated than, taking giant strides, being that talked about sweet mom, trusting your instincts, using common sense, and above all, hanging on to your humor.

Momfidence! is:
 

 * Using "perfect" only to describe such wonders as a ripe peach, a cloudless day at the beach, or a husband who does diapers and dinner. . . It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood.
 

* Recognizing that there are appropriate times and places for lying, yelling, threatening, and saying "I told you so"
 

* Sending yourself to time-out-preferably with chocolate and/or your spouse and allocating quality to to your kids because they deserve it.
 

 * Being completely amnesiac about the day's exasperating transgressions when you peek in your children's bedrooms at night and watch them sleep.

How much Momfidence have you got to play that prominent and strategic role in the mom's scene?