BLACKBERRY MADNESS-A DIGITAL SLAVERY.

  Official Calls and Emails After Work Annoy Women More than Men.

Blackberry Phone

Mary ping me when you are done with your meeting…. Said my friend and professional collegue Sarah;

Haba Sarah, are you learning how to talk? Which one be ping you, abi you don turn to ping pong?

Ha ha ha! Mary, are you for real! You mean you don’t know about backberry ping, that reminds me, I don’t even have your pin; please what is your BB pin?

"Abeg Sarah leave me alone" I said. At the end of our conversation I started craving for a blackberry. I wanted to own one but didn’t want to buy it, I just wanted a gift of a Blackberry. Ask and it shall be given, in my case I was saying it out loud that someone should give me a Blackberry and behold my friend Okung, promised me a Blackberry. I was so thrilled at this and the very next week when I travelled to the UK , I quickly shopped for Blackberry pouches. When I got back to 9ja, I called my friend Okung to inform him that I have bought six different colours of BB pouches, for the BB he promised me. He then asked me; Which of the pouches did you buy?

….. see me see trouble; Okung BB na BB oh! which one you dey sef - I thought Blackberry has just a single phone type. My friend had a good laugh and said to me, the BB I have for you is the curve 3 it is not yet in the market but my friend in Dubai will send it down – oh boy; my BB arrived a few weeks ago and I have a curve 3 BB phone and Bold 2 BB pouches. The next thing on mind mind at the time was to buy a Bold 2 but right now, I feel like throwing away this curve. Infact At this point, I feel like I deserved a big, big raise for even allowing the BlackBerry into my home. What I couldn’t understand is why some of my collegues weren’t in such a fuss. I don’t want any additional BB, because the one I have can be huge distraction sometimes, especially when I’m off work and at home with my family.

Now as I read through a study published in the March issue of the Journal of Health and social behaviours , I feel it may have something to do with my being a woman. According to research conducted at the University of Toronto, women feel much more burdened than men when contacted about work outside of normal business hours. Looks like that proverbial ceiling just got reinforced with double-pane glass.

The researchers surveyed more than 1,000 Americans to find out how often they were contacted outside of the office via e-mail, phone or text for work-related matters. As expected, they found that women who were contacted frequently reported higher levels of psychological distress than women who were not at their job’s beck and call. However, men who found themselves tied to their phones, BlackBerrys or laptops after work did not display the same amount of distress that women did, even though the men were more likely to be in touch with supervisors, clients and coworkers outside of the office.

Psychological distress is the scientific term for the effects of emotional pain, stress and mental conflict. Researchers measured distress in their study by asking participants how often they had trouble concentrating, felt like they couldn’t get motivated, felt tired or run down or felt like everything was an effort. In a nutshell, psychological distress is that feeling of being utterly overwhelmed, exhausted and worn down. Not such a great state for doing well at work or for feeling good outside of it

The more often work interfered with family and other important relationships, the more distress women felt. However, it wasn’t because they couldn’t manage all of their responsibilities. The study found that women could juggle their work and family lives just as well as men could. The reason women felt more put out is guilt. Even though women are just as much a part of the workforce as men these days, they still feel a stronger responsibility to tend to the home front, say the study’s researchers. This can make women feel like they’re not doing a good-enough job if they allow work to intrude on family time. It’s less about the logistics and more about emotional connotations of letting work seep into the home.

Maybe you can’t turn off your BlackBerry, but there are ways to keep work from impinging on your personal life. For instance, how you spend your weekends can greatly determine how you feel about work come Monday morning, and how well you do your job. If you feel like your job is sucking the life out of you, find out how you can climbing to the top (or just get throughthe workweek) without sacrificing your sanity.

CAN MOM EAT HER CAKE AND HAVE IT?

"A mother's work is never done" (sigh). Just when you think you're through, you find you've only just begun. You aren’t the only one!

By  Mary Ikoku

Being a mother of four boys taught me to make choices in my life routine. Sometimes I want to be everything to everyone of them including my husband. But increasingly I have come to terms with the obvious truth; I can only be all  of it but I will end up as a 'stressed-out' Mom instead of a healthy and fulfilled mom to myself and my family. What is the kernel of my gist today, It is about balancing work and family. In my close to 10 years of marriage and 8 years of being a mom, I have made sacrifices, plans and counter plans to maintain a good balance. The plan I am about to share with you worked best for me while I worked from my home. Sometimes the pressure of balancing your work and parenting  can ultimately lead you to giving both your work and family less than they deserve, I believe it's time we find a new parenting strategy that will help you balance the pressures of both work and family. As a work from home mother, you can decide after reading this  to start setting  clear boundaries and managing your time effectively. By doing this,  you can dramatically reduce parenting stress as well as boost your parenting joy. So let’s get started.

Your happiness as a work at home mother depends on your commitment to following the parenting time management tips below:

Open door policy Banned!

I started my PR company from my home, I got very good clients whose accounts I still manage while working from home. How did I achieve?  I set my work hours and stick to those hrs. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions, and stick with this schedule.

Family Involvement In What You do:

 Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. Mrs. Ekundayo a work at home mom I know once asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called she was bereaved and wont be at work, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back. 

N/B Make sure you know the strength of your child before you ask him/her to take your business call, some children are all-ready to play the worker role but some aren't. I didn't experiment this with my boys because I had to remind them most of the time to speak while on the phone. One of my sons will nod his head as a response to a question during  a telephone conversation! If you send such one to take a business call,  you can be sure that your client  receives deep silence as response to his inquiries.. Adapt Mrs. Ekundayo's style, only if you are sure of your child's ability to pull it off.

Don't Forget it's about quality time, not quantity time. 

When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.

Consciously make the transition from work to home:

When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.

Solve misbehavior time-wasters. 

I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).

You Must devote time to Care for Your Self. 

The most critical key to your success as a career climbing mom or working at home mom is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for your self. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.

By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that caring for yourself  became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.

I hope this time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!