CAN MOM EAT HER CAKE AND HAVE IT?

"A mother's work is never done" (sigh). Just when you think you're through, you find you've only just begun. You aren’t the only one!

By  Mary Ikoku

Being a mother of four boys taught me to make choices in my life routine. Sometimes I want to be everything to everyone of them including my husband. But increasingly I have come to terms with the obvious truth; I can only be all  of it but I will end up as a 'stressed-out' Mom instead of a healthy and fulfilled mom to myself and my family. What is the kernel of my gist today, It is about balancing work and family. In my close to 10 years of marriage and 8 years of being a mom, I have made sacrifices, plans and counter plans to maintain a good balance. The plan I am about to share with you worked best for me while I worked from my home. Sometimes the pressure of balancing your work and parenting  can ultimately lead you to giving both your work and family less than they deserve, I believe it's time we find a new parenting strategy that will help you balance the pressures of both work and family. As a work from home mother, you can decide after reading this  to start setting  clear boundaries and managing your time effectively. By doing this,  you can dramatically reduce parenting stress as well as boost your parenting joy. So let’s get started.

Your happiness as a work at home mother depends on your commitment to following the parenting time management tips below:

Open door policy Banned!

I started my PR company from my home, I got very good clients whose accounts I still manage while working from home. How did I achieve?  I set my work hours and stick to those hrs. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions, and stick with this schedule.

Family Involvement In What You do:

 Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. Mrs. Ekundayo a work at home mom I know once asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called she was bereaved and wont be at work, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back. 

N/B Make sure you know the strength of your child before you ask him/her to take your business call, some children are all-ready to play the worker role but some aren't. I didn't experiment this with my boys because I had to remind them most of the time to speak while on the phone. One of my sons will nod his head as a response to a question during  a telephone conversation! If you send such one to take a business call,  you can be sure that your client  receives deep silence as response to his inquiries.. Adapt Mrs. Ekundayo's style, only if you are sure of your child's ability to pull it off.

Don't Forget it's about quality time, not quantity time. 

When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.

Consciously make the transition from work to home:

When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.

Solve misbehavior time-wasters. 

I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).

You Must devote time to Care for Your Self. 

The most critical key to your success as a career climbing mom or working at home mom is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for your self. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.

By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that caring for yourself  became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.

I hope this time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!