“ABOUT TO WED “and “JUST WEDDED” bore the plate
number inscription of Arowolo Akolade and Titilayo who had
jollied and leaped in unquantifiable joy when they made marriage vows and swore
to life-long pain and happiness right before the presiding pastor or whoever
had joined them as husband and wife, on their wedding day. Little did Titilayo know that all of those promises by Arowolo were only a master plot to lure her to a cocoon of torment characterized by pain and domestic unrest which will finally lead to her untimely
demise. Arowolo Akolade wedded Titilayo in a church like every other
couples do, just 2 years ago. Certainly, he had proposed to her, made lovely
promises and sweet-tongued her into accepting his marriage proposal and
arguably asked her to come live with him as a wife and a partner, to make
children and build a home together. All of these may have sounded pleasant in
Titi’s ears or at least sounded responsible. She jumps into the marriage,
hopeful and anticipating a marriage that would be built around love, happiness
and all that there is in the union God himself had originally blessed. Just
like every newly married woman would, Titi had hoped for a marriage that
will give her fulfillment as she actually does well in her career as a bank worker with the Skye Bank in Victoria Island Lagos. Titi was a good wife who supported her husband financially and otherwise. She was the bread winner in her home and this she did with no air. All she desired was a good and lasting marriage not death.
The gruesome end of Titilayo Omo Arowolo, who was
allegedly stabbed to death by her husband, Akolade Arowolo would probably make
some people say that life was cruel to her.
Titilayo was just nine years old when her mother died while giving birth to a
baby that consequently became the last child of the family. After her mother’s
painful exit, her father, Pa Oyakhire, a Customs officer, practically
transferred the love he had for his late wife to Titilayo because of two
compelling reasons: she was the first child of the family and manifested all
the characteristics of her late mother, who was said to be humane, very
reserved and compassionate – almost to a fault.
Though Titi looked every inch like her father, Titilayo’s dad simply
found a replacement of his dear wife in his daughter. Determined to give his
children the best he could afford, he made up his mind to devote the rest of
his life to seeing his children through life. He saw to it that they got good
education, which ultimately saw Titilayo going to the University of Nigeria,
Nsukka. After graduation, Titilayo was employed by Skye Bank in 2007, and
started doing quite well. Then, Kolade Arowolo showed up in her life, and a
relationship developed between them. They eventually got married in 2008.
Titilayo was said to have shown devotion, dedication and commitment to the
union.The union began to experience turbulence when Kolade lost his job about
two years ago. Notwithstanding the setback, Titilayo made her best efforts to
cushion the effect on the marriage by providing for the family. It is not very
clear when and how the sequence of events that ultimately led to the tragic end
of Titilayo commenced. The police are still investigating what happened on the
day of the incident. But the mournful cloud that descended on the family in the
wake of the news of Titilayo’s death only seems to be getting thicker as the
days pass. With grief dripping from his pores, Oyakhire Jnr, Titilayo’s brother told Sunday Sun: “My dear sister was the apple of our
father’s eyes. She was so dear to him that he treated her like his wife. Since
our mum died years ago when sister Omozojie (Titilayo) was just nine, our father
accepted her as a replacement of his wife. The reason was because Omozoje
combined a striking resemblance of our dad with exact mannerisms of our mum to
warm dad’s heart. He would say to us, that is your mum, my wife. I am not
missing your mum because Omozojie possesses all her attributes. She is humane,
compassionate, reserved and highly tolerant.” Continuing, he said: “Dad has
been in shock since receiving the news of her death. And I don’t know if he
would ever be himself as I strongly believe the remaining part of him left by
Mum has gone with Omozojie.”
Asked if they were aware that the couple had been having issues as
alleged by the their neighbors, he confirmed the claims of the neighbours,
but said that no one thought it would result in the tragedy that ended his
sister’s life.
Source- The Sun Newspapers
WM PERISCOPES/ADVICES
This singular act cannot be any better described other than pure
dehumanization and cannibalism. So many women had fallen prey to this kind of
marriage after been warned or cautioned by friends or family members. It’s
heartrending, however that despite the yearnings and beckoning from concerned
folks who have foreseen the wrath in certain marriages, a whole lot of young
women still dive into dens which they call a home. The usual responses are that
they love the man deeply or that they are fulfilling marriage vows- horrible!
All of which is to their own detriment and like Titi, DEATH! A woman should
know when her marriage is likely to result to doom. If she
doesn’t know, then she should seek advice from knowledgeable people
especially women who had experienced same or are knowledgeable in that area.
Nonetheless, she as the lady who often suffers the battering should know that
it is unusual and very typical of a husband to constantly dehumanize and
maltreat his wife.If you are in this kind of marriage, it is time to take a break. If several talks, family
meetings and pleas to resolve your marriage problems prove a futile effort, then you can get a divorce. Women will only
cut their own life short by putting up with marriages of this kind. In fact, a
woman whose husband has the courage to lay a finger on should get the message that
she is living with a total stranger- a psycho if put informally. That
is where she would have to take optimum steps to save her precious life. Agreed, marriages do have problems but when it gets to the point of physical and emotional abuse, the man and the woman involved should take steps to find a safe way out than sticking together until one is killed.
·
Do not be carried away with the thought of
living in your husband’s house and making babies and leaving important issues
as properly and deeply evaluating and knowing the kind of man you are getting married to.
·
It is advisable to verify from family members the behavior and character of your spouse.
·
Always use your head when making marriage plans
or before saying “Yes, I will Marry You”
·
Always do some clandestine psychology work
(psychoanalysis) on your own to ascertain the kind of man you intend marrying.
These could be done quite easily by simply knowing the man who shares the same
humour as you do: What tickles your fancy, if it actually tickles his. His
attention to minute details and his reactions to little facts about your past
and his ideas about your future aspirations or wants.
·
Take into consideration the assertions of family
members or friends. Make pragmatic evaluation of them all and use the important
advise and dispose the irrelevant.
·
Run away when he tells you his is sorry after
promising never to do it again.
Remember! "the first time a woman is battered in a marriage, she is a victim but the second and subsequent times she is beaten in a marriage, she is a volunteer". How many of us women are volunteers? "Please be warned! The punching activities of your spouse could take you to the land where Titilayo Omozejie is today".
WMNG
On the flip-side however, it is also a moment for sober reflection; a period where I am engaging my thoughts and going down memory lane, connecting the previous with the present and bidding to envision the future and what it all will entail. Decades back when I was still growing as a little girl, having completed elementary school and in my high school years or thereabout, I had nursed the ambition of taking the lead and mentoring my dear Nigerians into a painless array of national unification, good leadership and progress. I had in mind the wish to communicate and help people understand each other better and learn from one another the cultures, values and ethics of our various tribes and see this as uniqueness other than predicament or a reason for disagreement, nepotism or prejudice; an African nation where black signifies strength, empathy and knowledge. Having read a lot about African Legends and their mind-blowing works from Political, Social, Science, Music, Theatre, Arts, Literature and so on. The likes of Nelson Mandela, Dr. Aggrey, Dr. Alvan Ikoku, Prof. Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Thabo Mbeki and a host of all others who had constantly fronted their national interest instead of their tribalistic or personal interest, one can readily say that the thirst for transparency and doing what was right tickled me knowing how these people decorated their national pride and did exploit in their various fields. I’m talking about people who recognize themselves first as a body instead of poles apart or units- I mean seeing yourself first as a Nigerian, before you can now say I’m Ijaw, Itsherkiri, Igbo, Yoruba, Ishan, Hausa and others.
You hear statements like "Such a shame you can't be with us for parents' day," trills a note from the big school, closely followed by a pathetic plea from a shiny-eyed primary child to appear at assembly at office meeting time, in order to watch a 45-minute Kabuki drama about Responsibility. Well did anybody send me, shebi the government owned institutions are there! Please I am not complaining oh! It's just that sometimes, I wonder why the schools task us parents so much, even when they know that we go out everyday to look for money to pay them.
