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Are you in the habit of rushing to work and equally rushing home because there is so much to do both at home and at work? Ever went to bed tired ignoring so many things in the bedroom and kitchen needing your attention, only to be interrupted a few hours later by the sound from your alarm clock? Do you always leave the house with more chores needing your attention that you carry part of your makeup/shoes and scarves to the office to dress appropriately later? Do you sometimes wish you could be in two or three places all at once? Are you a mother that works? Because if you are, then you'll appreciate and understand why there is a need to talk about how hard each day is for this superwoman called the "working mom".
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08 July 2011

A NIGERIAN WORKING MOM BUTCHERED TO DEATH BY HER HUSBAND-The End of Titilayo


“ABOUT TO WED “and “JUST WEDDED” bore the plate number inscription of Arowolo Akolade and Titilayo who had jollied and leaped in unquantifiable joy when they made marriage vows and swore to life-long pain and happiness right before the presiding pastor or whoever had joined them as husband and wife, on their wedding day. Little did Titilayo know that all of those promises  by Arowolo  were only a master plot to lure her to  a cocoon of torment characterized by  pain and domestic unrest which will finally lead to her untimely demise. Arowolo Akolade wedded Titilayo in a church like every other couples do, just 2 years ago. Certainly, he had proposed to her, made lovely promises and sweet-tongued her into accepting his marriage proposal and arguably asked her to come live with him as a wife and a partner, to make children and build a home together. All of these may have sounded pleasant in Titi’s ears or at least sounded responsible. She jumps into the marriage, hopeful and anticipating a marriage that would be built around love, happiness and all that there is in the union God himself had originally blessed. Just like every newly married woman would, Titi had hoped for a marriage that will give her fulfillment as she actually does well in her career as a bank worker with the Skye Bank in Victoria Island Lagos. Titi was a good wife who supported her husband financially and otherwise. She was the bread winner in her home and this she did with no air. All she desired was a good and lasting marriage not death.
The gruesome end of Titilayo Omo Arowolo, who was allegedly stabbed to death by her husband, Akolade Arowolo would probably make some people say that life was cruel to her. 
Titilayo was just nine years old when her mother died while giving birth to a baby that consequently became the last child of the family. After her mother’s painful exit, her father, Pa Oyakhire, a Customs officer, practically transferred the love he had for his late wife to Titilayo because of two compelling reasons: she was the first child of the family and manifested all the characteristics of her late mother, who was said to be humane, very reserved and compassionate – almost to a fault.

Though Titi looked every inch like her father, Titilayo’s dad simply found a replacement of his dear wife in his daughter. Determined to give his children the best he could afford, he made up his mind to devote the rest of his life to seeing his children through life. He saw to it that they got good education, which ultimately saw Titilayo going to the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. After graduation, Titilayo was employed by Skye Bank in 2007, and started doing quite well. Then, Kolade Arowolo showed up in her life, and a relationship developed between them. They eventually got married in 2008. Titilayo was said to have shown devotion, dedication and commitment to the union.The union began to experience turbulence when Kolade lost his job about two years ago. Notwithstanding the setback, Titilayo made her best efforts to cushion the effect on the marriage by providing for the family. It is not very clear when and how the sequence of events that ultimately led to the tragic end of Titilayo commenced. The police are still investigating what happened on the day of the incident. But the mournful cloud that descended on the family in the wake of the news of Titilayo’s death only seems to be getting thicker as the days pass. With grief dripping from his pores, Oyakhire Jnr, Titilayo’s  brother told Sunday Sun: “My dear sister was the apple of our father’s eyes. She was so dear to him that he treated her like his wife. Since our mum died years ago when sister Omozojie (Titilayo) was just nine, our father accepted her as a replacement of his wife. The reason was because Omozoje combined a striking resemblance of our dad with exact mannerisms of our mum to warm dad’s heart. He would say to us, that is your mum, my wife. I am not missing your mum because Omozojie possesses all her attributes. She is humane, compassionate, reserved and highly tolerant.” Continuing, he said: “Dad has been in shock since receiving the news of her death. And I don’t know if he would ever be himself as I strongly believe the remaining part of him left by Mum has gone with Omozojie.”
Asked if they were aware that the couple had been having issues as alleged by the their neighbors, he confirmed the claims of the neighbours, but said that no one thought it would result in the tragedy that ended his sister’s life.

Source- The Sun Newspapers

 WM PERISCOPES/ADVICES

This singular act cannot be any better described other than pure dehumanization and cannibalism. So many women had fallen prey to this kind of marriage after been warned or cautioned by friends or family members. It’s heartrending, however that despite the yearnings and beckoning from concerned folks who have foreseen the wrath in certain marriages, a whole lot of  young women still dive into dens which they call a home. The usual responses are that they love the man deeply or that they are fulfilling marriage vows- horrible! All of which is to their own detriment and like Titi, DEATH! A woman should know when her marriage is likely to result to doom. If she doesn’t know, then she should seek advice from knowledgeable people especially women who had experienced same or are knowledgeable in that area. Nonetheless, she as the lady who often suffers the battering should know that it is unusual and very typical of a husband to constantly dehumanize and maltreat his wife.If you are in this kind of marriage, it is time to take a break. If several talks, family meetings and pleas to resolve your marriage problems prove a futile effort, then you can get a divorce. Women will only cut their own life short by putting up with marriages of this kind. In fact, a woman whose husband has the courage to lay a finger on should get the message that she is living with a total stranger- a psycho if put informally. That is where she would have to take optimum steps to save her precious life. Agreed, marriages do have problems but when it gets to the point of physical and emotional abuse, the man and the woman involved should take steps to find a safe way out than sticking together until one is killed.

·         Do not be carried away with the thought of living in your husband’s house and making babies and leaving important issues as properly and deeply evaluating and knowing the kind of man you are getting married to.
·         It is advisable to verify from family members the behavior and character of your spouse.
·         Always use your head when making marriage plans or  before saying “Yes, I will Marry You”
·         Always do some clandestine psychology work (psychoanalysis) on your own to ascertain the kind of man you intend marrying. These could be done quite easily by simply knowing the man who shares the same humour as you do: What tickles your fancy, if it actually tickles his. His attention to minute details and his reactions to little facts about your past and his ideas about your future aspirations or wants.
·         Take into consideration the assertions of family members or friends. Make pragmatic evaluation of them all and use the important advise and dispose the irrelevant.
·         Run away when he tells you his is sorry after promising never to do it again.
Remember! "the first time a woman is battered in a marriage, she is a victim but the second and subsequent times she is beaten in a marriage, she is a volunteer". How many of us women are volunteers? "Please be warned! The punching activities of your spouse could take you to the land where Titilayo Omozejie is today".

WMNG


















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