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Are you in the habit of rushing to work and equally rushing home because there is so much to do both at home and at work? Ever went to bed tired ignoring so many things in the bedroom and kitchen needing your attention, only to be interrupted a few hours later by the sound from your alarm clock? Do you always leave the house with more chores needing your attention that you carry part of your makeup/shoes and scarves to the office to dress appropriately later? Do you sometimes wish you could be in two or three places all at once? Are you a mother that works? Because if you are, then you'll appreciate and understand why there is a need to talk about how hard each day is for this superwoman called the "working mom".
Working Moms Nigeria is an endeavors to help women strike a healthy balance between earning a living and maintaining a good home.

Dedicated to all the women who are juggling work and family. You too can be a part of this mind boggling experience by joining millions of ‘superheroes out there in sharing in their trails and travails. Welcome!!!



09 September 2010

IYA IBEJI (mama twins); A Unique and Exemplary Working Mother. THE CONCLUDING PART


...Iya Beji's children have come to understand and appreciate her efforts. At such a tender age, they already know that their mother's outburst is only a form of transferred aggression. Something she's used to doing esspecially when she has had a rough day at the shop. Just then, the other "Generals", Maxwell, Joel and Emmanuel, walk into the shop. "Good afternoon Mum" they greeted. Thank God they remembered to greet this time around or maybe they too had sensed the tension in the shop. "How was school today?" she asked."Stressful" replied Maxwell, the eldest.Silently, Emmanuel goes into the shop to 'survey' for lunch but Patricia gives him that look that says food isn't ready yet...
  After several lashes for not understanding Mum's signs whenever a visitor was around, sign language had become like a 'lingua franca' to these kids. But she wasn't the only one speaking it now. The kids even spoke it at school to convey messages they didn't want others, especially their teachers, to understand. "Don't worry, the food will soon be ready" mother said, sensing the restlessness that filled the room.After 15 minutes of intense grumbling, lunch is finally served. Maybe the wait was worth it afterall judging by the manner the five of them devoured every last piece of the steaming fried yam and eggs. As they eat, their mother looks through their notebooks, and even though she never attained education to the highest level, she is very knowledgeable about their school work. "Olodo!" Maxwell teased Joel who scored 2 out of the overall 10 marks in a math classwork. A small fight almost ensues, the kind common with brothers of a little age difference. But mother comes to the rescue, she admonishes Maxwell for laughing at his brother and encourages Joel to put in more effort next time. 'More effort' would mean, no play at Uche's house this weekend. At least not while she's around.

At about 8:00pm, other traders are closing up for the day's work and so is Mama twins. The children had already gone home at about 5:00pm after playing and aiding mother at the shop. Maxwell was put in charge. They couldn't afford a nanny and even if they could, their mother never saw the relevance of it. Besides, Maxwell who was 10 years old was up to the task. This is one of her own little ways of teaching responsibility, independence and integrity as she won't always be there for them; something she had come to learn the hard way.

Exhausted she begins to pack her wares back into the main store and just then another customer comes and pleads with her to sell something to him. 9:45pm, she's cold, tired and hungry. Although Maxwell has already prepared dinner, the house doesn't look tidy enough for her liking. But today, she's going to let this one pass, besides, "thank God it's friday!" and the kids wouldn't be going to school tomorrow. This consolation is her own way of letting go of the weeks long stress. Unlike some other Lagosians who would keep to late nights on a day like this to party and let go of all they've had to put up with during the week, work for this woman is an everyday affair, sometimes, Sundays included especially when sales during the week was bad.

The kids are already asleep, a sigh of relief for this woman because on every other day, it is always hard getting them to sleep. Snoring in ochestral harmony, apparently, they too have had a lot of activities in one day. Now she can take her bath and have a good meal. But let's just hope that Maxwell didn't confuse sugar for salt or pepper for curry this time around.As she lay alone on her bed, she reminisces about all the events that took place on this typical day; getting the kids ready for school, the friday rush of customers, the yam incidence with the goat, the havoc caused by the rains; had ended no sooner than it began. She will talk to herself sometimes, chuckle and maybe even cry. An experience she would have loved to share with someone else. Someone who will listen, encourage and comfort her. But not this night. When asked what her drive is, the sheer determination and patience she displays in her day-to-day activities, she replies simply, "My only motivation in this world are God and my five wonderful kids. Since my husband passed away (displaying a smile to mask the hurt) I held the sole responsibility to look after my kids. I had the option to send them to my husband's relative but for fear that no one would care for them as their own, I objected".She is a woman of grace and passion. She is a widow with five kids who she would sacrifice anything for. She is a symbol of patience and determination. An epitome among her peers; a unique and exemplary working mom. Iya ibeji is indeed a superhero! And for the first time today, she can finally have the rest which constantly eludes her.... The time is

11:50pm.

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